What’s Cooler Than Being Cool? ICE COLD!

WERTLAND SQUARE – Apartment-mates Adam Barnes and Patrick Lee continue to push a box of expired, freezer-burnt Bagel Bites to the back of their shared freezer, marking its tenth consecutive month of freezer residency.

Usually positioned next to a bag of frozen peas and a couple boxes of Hot Pockets, the Bagel Bites are currently hidden behind a tub of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream, courtesy of last night’s shopping at Kroger.

“Yeah I’ve seen the Bagel Bites in there,” said Barnes, “But I didn’t buy them so it’s not my right to dispose of them.”

“I have never liked Bagel Bites and I’m pretty sure icicles are forming off the corners of the box,” said Lee in a separate interview. “I wish Adam would get his shit together and throw them out.”

At press time, neither Barnes nor Lee had addressed the problem of the Bagel Bites box, which is now believed to be covered by thick layer of permafrost.

Derek Richardson is a third-year whose favorite flavor of ice cream is Fireball.