disappointed by The Man once again

You know what really grinds my gears?

Charlottesville Police, Parking and Transportation division.

Allow me to spin you a tale:

Last year, I parked my car somewhere, and after a long day of classes, forgot where I parked my car and freaked out when it wasn’t in its normal spot next to my apartment — headass behavior I know, but put your judgment aside for a hot sec.

Naturally, after calling every goddamn towing company in the area and finding nothing, I reported it stolen to the good ol’ CPD.

The first thing they did was show up at my house at 3 a.m. to take a statement from me, disrupting what those of you who have seen my face know is MUCH-needed beauty sleep.

Let me say that I genuinely didn’t remember anything about relocating my car, so I honestly can’t tell you what I told these guys. They questioned me for a solid hour, which only served to legitimize my hysteria in my eyes. Once they had taken down every detail of my car and life and spent 15 minutes hanging out in my hallway listening to radio calls about other peoples’ issues, they left.

I went back to bed feeling like they would actually get shit done. Two days go by, and nothing. I was picturing my beloved Subaru in a chop shop somewhere.

Mostly, I was mad that this phantom thief now had wheels and I didn’t, cuz my supply of locally-farmed chocolate milk was running low and I had no way to get to Kroger.

Then, I get a call from my friend. He had spotted my car in the exact place I now realized I had left it. After throwing up a little in my mouth from the intense wave of shame that overcame me, I got a ride from said friend to where my chariot awaited. As we rounded the corner and my car came into view, the relief of seeing Subie with all her wheels still on nearly brought me to tears.

But, when we pulled up next to her, what I saw actually did bring me to tears.

Somehow, with my car reported stolen for two days, both CPD and University Police had not only failed to find the car, which was parked in plain view on one of the busiest streets in C’Ville — they also managed to issue me a total of five parking tickets.

Laurel Spiegelthal is a third-year who puts the fine in fined.